What happens to the children when their parents get divorced?

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When parents get divorced, the child often ends up living at one parent and gets to live with the other parent from time to time, often on regular basis. Sometimes the child gets to spend more time with one parent than with the other.

The child reacts to the dramatic change in the familystructure, to less contact with one parent, sudden changes in economic and social assets and also moving to a new home and school. How the child will react to the divorce and how the child will adapt later after the divorce in a long view is determined to how far the child has made it in growth, the child’s own menthal resources and how the child is dealing with stress.

The child´s reaction to the divorce is often the fact that they weren’t aware or prepared for the divorce. Things that they did notice such as conflicts and bad harmony in marriage were not enough for them to be aware of a coming divorce.

The child often resists the divorce and gets confused and a bit chocked to. The child often thinks that the divorce will get a bad influence on their life and way of acting in life. The elderly children often understand why there is a divorce, but still they are against it. Some children also gets depressed and responded heavily towards one parent leaving the home and the contact between them decreases. Especially teenagers were hurted and putted out their anger on both parents, though they never had a chance to say anything about custody and visits. More anger and problems with beahivour was also a very common way for the children to express themselves.

After the divorce, the parent often ends up in a role change with their child. This leads to the child comforting the parent and the child listening to accusations towards the other parent. Many parents also seek support and advice from their child after a divorce. The parents may also become busier and give less emotionalcontact to the child at a time when the child needs it as most. Why the parents reacts like this is due to they being busy in their own thoughts of what is going on in life, one parent have moved away and the other parent has to get a full-time job.
Parents often neglect their child by not talking to them about the divorce, because the parents find it difficult to do that and also have an uncertainy if the child is in right age to talkt about it. This leads to the child not knowing what’s going to happen in the future.

My opinion about divorce is that they are often represented as a bad thing, but I don’t think that it is that. A lot of good things can come out of a divorce, things that should be appreciated more. Things that I appreciate and have always done, due to me being a child in a marriage that ended up in a divorce, is that my parents has always put aside their feelings to make us feel better. They have always put us in first place and made the situation as good as possibly for us, but also always being there for us when we need them and both participate in things concerning us. Also, they do get along, something I don’t think they did before the divorce and if there hadn’t been a divorce, they maybe still would not get along.
The best thing for me is that I was very young when it happened, so I have always accepted the situation as it is and this is my everyday-life, I don’t know anything else and also having the enviroment change every other weekend, which I think is good. The worst thing I can think of is that I never really got the chance to grow up with my sibblings as real sibblings should do (we practically met on weekends and no more) and also moving back and forth was always a pleasant time, you had to pack your things and then move away, sometimes against your wish.

But I do think that children often end up in the middle of the parents and sometimes the parents don’t see their children, they forget them. They put out all their anger on the children instead of being there for the child and listening. Also, the older you get, the harder it is to accept the fact that your parents are going on separate ways and that is due to you don’t wanna change what you have. You are used to this, why change it?

I only see a divorce as a good thing. If the parents have grown apart and feel that this is it, we don’t get as far as this, then I think it’s good thing. I feel that a divorce only can help you. Perhaps you will get along better with your ex-partner and the children’s menthal health is better after a divorce than in the marriage, then I don’t feel that it’s a bad thing. Of course, it’s all about the children, you have put yourself aside for a moment and put all your energy on the children, so that the situation will be the best as possible.

To summarize this up, children react very different to the divorce, all is due to how the parents reacting and how old the child is, menthal health etc. Often the child is not prepared to the divorce, even if there have been significant signs, but maybe the child has not spotted...