Looking Back uppsats engelska A

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Looking back
When I look back in my life, I see a lot of sadness.
But of course there were happy moments to.

I grew up in a home together with my parents and my three brothers.
Two of them were older, and one of them was younger.
My father was an alcoholic, and the two older brothers used heavy drugs.
My mother had to cope with all these problems alone. When I got older and had my own
Family, I realized how she had suffered inside..


That entire struggle to raice money to buy food, pay the rent, and all
that anxiety about were her husband and sons were
Sometimes my father went away with hes salary. and left my mother with no money att all.
It could take weeks before he came back again. My mother couldn´t buy food and sometimes not even pay the rent.
The landlord was always nagging on her.

A neighbour called the social workers and they came and asked us a lot of questions. Like if we had enough food, and that we had clothes that wasen´t to small..

Of course we said yes, we knew that if we told these people that our situation was chaotic they would put us in fostercare, and no children want to leave their parents how miserable it may ever be.
I especially remeber one Christmas.
The whole family was gathered and no one of them was drunk or high of drugs.
My mother was very happy. And had made a big Christmas-dinner, and both mother and father had bought us a lot of Christmas-presents.
I remember that I thought that this was my best Christmas ever. Everybody was happy, we laughed, sang and I wanted to stay in that
moment, forever and ever. This was what a real family was supposed to be like, always.

The years went by. I left home when I was fourteen
Social services helped my littlebrother and me to get an apartment, they thought that I was so mature that I could take care of my littlebrother. They helped us with furnitures and other things we could need. But I was too small, just a child, with problems from being brought up in a home where you never could know if there was food in the fridge or milk to our corn flakes.
The result was that I didn´t manage school and went out with miserable grades.
I got a job in the social services office as a cleaner. Now I understand why, it was because they want to have my brother and me under some kind of surveillance.
And at the same time make me earn some money of my own.
My Father died when I was eighteen and my brother Robert died of an overdose amfethamin when he was only twentie, two month after my father past away.
My other brother Tony is living somewhere in a town near by. I haven´t spoke to him for years. He still is a drug addict.
My youngest brother has problems to, but he has kept it as a secret for me. When I found out I got very sick. It was like my whole world fell down. I blamed myself for hes problems.

I had to go to physical therapy for a long time, to understand that it wasn´t my fault. I understand that my childhood and the conditions I grew up under doesn´t appear so wonderful. But I am a happy person, and I think that everything happens for a reason.
Someone up there, I thin...