Diary of Bettina Daniels

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18th November 1981
Why can´t I have a father like a normal teenager? My father always treat me like his assistant. Why can´t he only be my father for just a little while? I can´t handle this, make appointments to his meetings, taking telephone messages from his girlfriends, be in all places where he is, sit in the studios when he is talking about his books in the talkshows. I want to be a normal teenager.
Sure, I love him, I do. He is the sweetest, most captivated and funniest man you could know. But it is difficult to avoid seeing how ruthless he can be sometimes. He can be so egotistical and selfish and I don´t think that he has a clue about how he treat people sometimes.
I have to go now, because I am going to take a bath before I start to prepare for the party we are going to have tonight. It will be the first party this “season” and it have to be a success. A lot of celebrities will come. I write here when I have time, and as you see, it isn´t that often. I have so much to do, don´t even have time with friends.
See you soon!
Bettina.

5th December 1981
I’m alone. The only one I had was my father, and now he is gone. I can’t get it. Why him? He was all I had. One weeks has passed through, but still I really can’t understand that he is no longer with us.
Part of it feels like it was my fault. I wasn’t with him when he died! I was always with him, but just this lunch, just this time, I wasn’t there to say farewell. I was on my bloody exam!
I don’t know what to do now. The only one I can turn to is Ivo. He is just as sad as I am, he and my father have been best friends as long as I know.
Now, I’m going to bed and I will cry to sleep, just as I have done every day since he died.
Good night.
Bettina.

8th December 1981
The day after last time I wrote, was a horrible day. Me and Ivo were speaking with my fathers’ lawyers. Their message was the second worse in a month. How could daddy go on such a long time without letting this out? Neither me and Ivo did know how big trouble dad was set up to. When he died, it was nothing left! No money. He was bankrupt, he had debts up to several million dollars. I have to sell everything. The houses, the antics, nothing left.
I thought that not having anyone was enough, but now I don’t even have a home. I have to sell all my beautiful dining clothes, everything! The only thing I’m going to keep is my jewelers. No one is taking that away from me!
Bettina.

7th January 1982
Ivo believes that I’m going back to that dandified world that belonged to my father. I can’t get back there. “My father is gone. What right have I to go back to those people? Especially now, with absolutely nothing. I can’t give them fabulous parties anymore, or wonderful introductions over lunch to the people they want to meet. I can’t do anything, or give them anything. I have nothing. I am nothing!

9thJanuari 1982
I´ve lost everything. Everything that has been my life. Since my father died a couple of weeks ago my life have been ruined. He didn´t leave anything. When his lawyer called me and said that we should meet when I felt better I didn´t thought about it. How could I know? How could he do this to me? The lawyer told me that everything included antiques, houses, cars, the apartment has to be sold. He had so many debts that even if we sold everything we owned even all the furniture there still wouldn´t be anything left for me. I only got eighteen thousand dollars from my fathers checking account. Now everything is sold and I´m going to move to Ivo tomorrow. This will be my last night in the apartment. I doesn´t even have a bed to sleep in, only a sleepingbag directly on the floor.
I have to start looking for a job. I don´t want to stay at Ivo to long. I want to take care of myself, I don´t want to be a burden to him.
It feel strange to be in the apartment all alone and with no furniture. This will be my last night, the last night I sleep in my childhood home. I miss my father so much.
Goodnight dad.


I have start working at a theater. This isn’t because of money, I do this for free, this is because my biggest dream ever is to write an own play. And I have to start somewhere. Ivo does pay everything for me and he says that he always going to be there for me and help me. He really loves me, and I love him too, he is nice to me and have always supported me. That’s why I married him.
But I have met a guy on the theater. Ivo doesn’t know anything of course. I’m going to LA with this theater next week and I’m wondering how this relation is going to continue. Only time can decide.


Sorry I haven’t written so much. I have had so much problems. I got divorced with Ivo and married Anthonio instead. At first he was nice to me and I was in love. I got pregnant, but he started to assault me and I got miscarriage. I have been so depressed. They sent me into a clinic for help and my psychology followed me through it. After I came out of that clinic, we started to date and then we fell in love and married. But you know, psychologic people are often very crazy, so was he. He forbid me from saying anything about my passed. He wanted a completely normal family without problems and he drove me crazy. He also forbid me from writing my play. But I wrote it anyway when he didn’t saw me. And now it is finished, I left it to an old friend that could help me with this. And guess what? They loved my play! It is going to be set up on Broadway! My dream has come true! Everything happened so fast after that. I left my husband and moved back to LA.
And now I’m getting rich again! I took contact with Ivo and we are now friends again.
I sat talking to an old friend called Norton the other day, and I remember something that made me realize who I am. He said “..that’s who you are Bettina! You’re Ollie Paxton’s wife!” And I said: “No I’m not. I am Bettina Daniels.” I am not my father’s or Ivo’s or Ollie’s anymore. I am my own now!




gild- förgylla
pamper- skämma bort, dalta med
youth- ungdom
seize- gripa
foible- svaghet
flee- fly
sabot- träsko
raddled- förvirrad
apiece- var för sig, per styck
corporate- kollektiv, gemensam
desolate- ödslig, kal, folktom
harmful- skadlig, farlig
mattress- madrass
laudable- lovvärd, berömvärd
lav- toa
perineum- bäckenbotten, mellangård
timberland- timmerskog
tilth- odling
achieve- uträtta, åstadkomma
fraudulent- bedräglig
meanly- torftigt
oppungnant- fientlig
fancied- inbillad
mot- kvickhet
suggestive- tankeväckande, uppslagsrik
volley- salva...