Go ask alice

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Go ask Alice

“Alice could be anyone... could be someone you know… Alice uses drugs…”

The book I’ve read is named “go ask Alice”. It is a diary, written by a 15-year old girl called Alice. They’ve changed all names and places before the book was printed. The author is anonymous. It’s a true story. That’s quite amazing actually, and terrible in the same way because this story is really shaking. It makes people think, stay up. Well, I can’t tell you what “people” think, but I can tell you what I think.

Alice grows up in a family without any stability. They move very often and there is no time for peace and quiet. When the book starts it is Alice’s first day in a new house. She writes that she is the happiest person on the whole earth, in the whole galaxy, in all of God’s creation. Now she thinks they will stay there forever. She has bought the diary herself, she tells she has something wonderful and valuable to say, something so personal that she wouldn’t be able to share it with another living person, except herself, but I kept reading anyway. In the beginning of the book it feels like reading about anybody, nobody special, but it turns out different when you keep on reading.

In the beginning Alice seems to be a teenager with problems and worries like anybody else. That’s right in one way, but one day everything changes. She stays at her Gramps place over the summer. One night she has been invited to a party in the neighborhood and there is someone who has put some drugs in her drink. She just feels very happy and satisfied without a real reason, the grass is greener then it has ever been before, the flowers smell better than it has ever done and she describes it like they are a group, they are together, feeling the same thing. She doesn’t recognize that it is a trip until after, and then it’s to late. In the beginning she is scared, but that feeling changes into the need to be a part of that group once more…

She goes home to her family. The parents don’t notice anything and she becomes a drug user. She finds some guy and runs away whit him, but they separate on the way to Las Vegas, so she comes to the big city all alone. After a while she is so out of it that she starts writing stuffs like “another day” or just a “?” instead of the date. She doesn’t know where she is or what she does. Finally she calls her parents and they pick her up, she goes home, she runs away again. This time she has got a friend, a girl who is also an addict. They live together, eat together and take drugs together. They have got both bad and great trips but nothing makes them quit, not even the worst trips. At last Alice stops taking the shit, she realizes it will kill her some day and goes back home. And she decides that when she is grown up she will work with helping children in her situation.

Her parents take her back with open arms, kisses and hugs. Even if she is home again, even if she is free from the drugs again and even if her life has returned again she is alone, alone, alone. She is ashamed in front of her family, she feels guilty and she hates herself. When her lips are smiling and her laugh is heard is it from another place than her heart. She puts on a mask for the outside, but inside everything is a mess.

To read this book was a real experience for me. The book gives you something, when you read it it’s like living beside Alice, follow her way of life. That’s also what you do in some kind of way. It is really personal to read a diary, it doesn’t matter who it belongs to. It is still a diary, and this is Alice’s.

I have also learned about this subject. When you tell somebody about a book you’ve read you aren’t meant to tell the end. To tell the end is like breaking all the laws in one minute. To tell the end is forbidden, but the end of this book is quite visible. Now I will tell you; she dies of an overdose. Accidental or premeditated, no one knows. What is of concern is that she died, and t...