Go Ask Alice

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The book is written like a diary. And the author is this girl, Alice.
It is a very sad story, which gives you several moments of reflection.
When you, in the beginning of the book, get to know Alice she seems like a healthy, young and motivated girl.
She speaks with the diary as if it was her best friend, and she confides all her deepest thoughts and fears and dreams to it. She writes often and regularly, and by reading her daily notes, you get to know that she wants to be successful and settled down, she wants to raise her own family and you get the impression that she has got plans for her future. But as the time goes on she changes. She doesn’t seem to understand that her parents love her and she does not feel like she belongs, neither in school nor in her family…
One night she has been invited to one of the “cool” kids´ home, where she, unaware of it, tries LSD. And she loves it, probably because it makes her feel free and alive.
So she decides to try it again and the thrill is even more fabulous this time...
She thinks that she has found a way to escape reality, with all its parents and teachers telling you what to think and do and how to be. -And yet, this is when it all started to fall apart for Alice… Though, I don’t believe that she understood that, ‘cause in her diary she only explained the wonderfulness of drugs… I guess she was pretty naïve.
However, things started to change.
Alice found her life hard and meaningless without drugs and she became heavily addicted to them. But drugs are expensive, so Alice was forced to become a dealer as well. And this is the real sad part I think. That she at that point was well aware of her terrible situation, and despite that tried to get others involved in the same trap…
This really made impression on me. How can a person change like that?
Her personality was totally different from before, which was obviously reflected in her way of writing and what she wrote in her diary. Before, she was decent and sophisticated in her language, but now she was influenced be the world of drugs and the other dopers…
Her goals and intuitions were also different from before. She stopped dreaming and her big visions were resized to fit into her everyday life, containing only the chase of new drugs.
But somewhere in this mess, Alice began to understand the gravity of the situation and attempted to stop using. And she even succeeded! I truly admire her strength to achieve such a thing! But then, again, she was pulled back into it, by others.
Her struggle with herself was then useless, and her confidence probably dropped.
I believe that it is very common among dopers that if one of them is trying to keep clean, the others will try to pull him/her back…
As I’m thinking about it, I start to wonder if Alice´s parents really cared for and loved her… I mean, they didn’t make too much noise of her run-away to Orleans (if I remember right…). They did not search for her in any way, which I think is kind of strange. Maybe she was right, maybe her parents weren’t listening to her, and didn’t want to see. Everyone knows that it is much easier to just close your eyes instead of confronting something unpleasant.
But perhaps her parents just did not understand…<...