Love Kills

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“I was looking for me [grave] stone… Where’s me stone? AaaaAaaahaaa…”

I was so tired of the television, and the whole apartment smelled like pizza, cigarette smoke and dirt. I hadn’t cleaned up for months, and I just wanted to get away from this unbelievable mess. I could hardly work, with anything. I was tired of living in this messy London suburb. I was feeling ill, didn’t know what to go. I worked at home with a little everything, I’m taking orders from people who wants me to stitch up clothes for them. I sew everything from skirts to… What you want to have.
I mostly like to sew things for my self, so you may say I got kind of many clothes. I sure have a passion for many things, I love to sew, but I didn’t like the sew-lessons in school. I also like to write and draw, read and listen to music. I went in school in Sweden, my parents still live there. I’m saving money, me and my boyfriend, we want to move to Germany, Berlin. We are so tired of this London suburb. I’m taking my orders from the web, so it’s no problem with work if we move, as long as I got access to the internet.

“Kinder… AaaaAaaaHaaa…”

“Ich will dein herz bestraffen. Bestraffe mich, bestraffe mich, mich, mich, mich.”

Everyday that echo’s in my head, hard life.
I hate television, it echo’s in my head. Everything they say, all the songs they play. I HATE IT!
Tomorrow I’m going to a café with my girlfriends, Elenore. I don’t like cafés, unless it’s no people in there. In a crowded room I can’t breath, I can’t think, I can’t hear what I say or what anybody else says. In a few weeks it’s Christmas, me and my baby are going to Sweden and celebrate it with our relatives.

“Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick.”

”Ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill, ill.”

Sometimes I’m thinking about commit suicide, but I don’t think I dare to do it. I’m too much of a… Chicken, to do it, if you see it from a funny side. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. I just don’t dare to do it, I think too much of my friends and family, my loved once. How could I ever survive without them ?
My darling, how could I survive here, in this hell place without you. I’d be dead by now if I didn’t have you. Why are you so cruel sometimes? Be cruel, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ll never stop loving you. If I do, I’ll die. Kill me.
You know, LOVE KILLS. KILLS YOU.
Even though you are young, you may have so strong feelings you can’t control them. I’m sorry honey, I’m ruining your life, leave me if you don’...